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The “this is a good change” side:

1. I will be able to manage when I want to exercise and when I don’t want to. I can determine how much I want to exercise everyday. I will no longer have to think of exercising as something that will take up three hours from my day.
2. I don’t have to worry about being slow compared to the people on the team I was on. There is no more competition in my athletic life, which is really nice.

The “this is a bad change” side:

1. I’m afraid I won’t exercise at all. I can set myself a goal to exercise every day but I’m afraid I still won’t. What if I slowly, but surely, cripple myself?
2. I have to train myself to come up with decent training plans that will keep me in shape.

So, I guess there is a good side and bad side to this. I’ll see what happens.

I started thinking about how nice it was back in fourth grade when everyone was so carefree. Everyone was so happy and there was no competition about grades or sports or any of those shenanigans. No body complained. It was all about having fun and enjoying simple things. It was a time when I really enjoyed school.

When I was in fourth grade, I lived in the now. The present was the only thing I thought about and it was nice. I miss those days when I went outside for brunch and lunch to play on the large, open field. I miss those days when I built grass huts with my friends and then eventually the whole class joined in. I miss those days when I played “Starball” on the backboards of the blacktop. I miss those days when I played four square during lunch. I miss those days when a teacher had to excuse us from our lunch table so that we could go and play. I miss the all-day reading days when we would build little forts under our desks and just read all day long underneath them. I miss how in fourth grade we had to make our own business for the year and sell homemade products for fake money. I miss the FAME lessons that would happen every month. I miss those days where I would cry on the last day of school.

I miss fourth grade.

Things that are getting on my nerve:

1. School field trip policy.
2. My grades.
3. My all-time low sleeping time average.
4. My SAT practice test score.
5. My STAR test math score.
6. My extremely pro skills at being inefficient when I actually try to be efficient.
7. Tomorrow’s math test.

The things that are keeping me sane at the moment:

1. It’s my birthday.
2. The weekend is near and I get to spend it doing community service.

And that’s my rant. I hope you enjoyed it.

You see, these schedules determine the routine we will be living with for about half a year. Depending on which classes we are given (hopefully the ones we asked for) we will adopt a rhythm of life that will stick with us for that time. I guess we can call this the rhythm of school. For half a year there is a steady, consistent rhythm, like a human heart, and then during the summer that heart suffers a heart attack where the rhythm is broken. But then that heart is revived later on with a different rhythm, the new school year, adjusting to the new way of life, stronger than it was before.

I think it’s strange how a piece of paper can do something so powerful. There are wedding certificates, divorce documents, contracts; all simple pieces of paper that we have set meaning to as a society and that shape the way we live greatly. We just accept it. And we accept the way a schedule shapes our life. Not all of us may adjust to it well, but we all live with it until a new rhythm comes into our life.

I’m sure you can see where this is going. I quickly rushed out of my room and the moment I stepped on the stairs to go down, I tripped and slid all the way to the bottom, banging my tailbone on every step. And now my tailbone is suffering from an excruciating pain every time I stand up, sit down, lie down, or walk.

It’s quite painful, as you can probably imagine. However, I started wondering why pain is the socially accepted feeling that something is wrong. Now, most people are going to tell me, “Well Alexander, pain hurts and therefore it is considered a bad thing…” And here’s what I have to say to that. Not all pain is bad. Let’s take exercising as an example. Exercising hurts, especially in sports like running and swimming (I’m sure there are many other sports that hurt but these are the only two I’ve really done). But, even though exercising hurts, it’s a good thing to do; it’s even recommended by doctors! It’s as if the socially accepted meaning for pain is contradicting itself.

So, why did evolution have to make pain the universal message for danger? Couldn’t it have been an electric brain signal that told you something along the lines of, “Your tailbone is injured, take it easy for a while”?

Whatever the reason is, all I know is that I couldn’t go bodyboarding and instead spent the whole day doing nothing. What a thrilling day…

One example of where this kind of compliment occurs often is tests. Let’s say that you just got your score for a math test you took with the rest of your class and you were the only one that got an A and the rest got very low grades. In a matter of minutes, everyone in the class will come up to you and start complimenting you and saying things like, “Oh my god! You are so smart! Man, I wish I was that smart…” And you’re left there wondering what to say.

The first thing you think to ask is what grade they got but you know that they might not want to tell you because it is so bad. But if they do tell you, and let’s say they got an F, you can’t tell them, “Great job!” because that’s a lie and they would be offended and you can’t tell them, “You suck!” because that’s rude. So, you’re left telling them, “I’m sure you’ll do better next time with some more practice. You’re a really hard worker. *all-knowing smile*”.

It makes me feel bad to have to give those kind of compliments in return because you know that the person who gave you the compliment first (in the way I described it) just said it to hear something that will bring their hopes up from the person that they complimented. They just want to hear something that will make them feel better for a period of time. It makes me feel pity for them. I don’t like that feeling.

I’ve also been in the situation where I was the student who got the F and complimented the student who got the A. I was in need of a pity compliment.

I feel bad for asking the person for it.

QUESTION: Have you ever asked for a pity compliment? If so, explain the situation. What are your thoughts about it? Leave a comment.

That’s one of the worst things about time, not being able to see people change. Now, you will obviously see change in someone if you haven’t seen them in years. But I am talking about the people you see every day. With them it’s extremely difficult to see how they change over time. So, when I saw that picture of my grandmother I thought, “Wow, she went through 82 years of change. Unbelievable.”

It’s sad how we take time for granted. Sometimes we wish we had more time (like during lunch breaks) and sometimes we wish we had less time (like when we get invited to a party we don’t want to go to). We spend too much of our time wishing and dreaming instead of actually doing something with it.

Time is a strange thing and I think about it too much when I should be working on APUSH homework.